A bite. A shock, lives transformed forever.

Our lives are shaped by the circumstances, stories, and relationships we've experienced over the years.

We make plans, set goals, and dream big. All of this is important; it helps us navigate our lives, families, and businesses. It's the unexpected moments in life that have truly shaped my character and belief system—most importantly, my belief in myself.

In May 2000, my husband Kelly joined me at our collection agency to help launch the credit card division as our VP of Sales, while still managing Devenish Construction with his brother. As you can imagine, it came with its own challenges. His brother wasn't too keen on the idea, but home building had hit some lows at that time, so we pivoted and diversified a little. (We're good at that.)

A year into our new normal, on May 4, 2001, during our lunch break together, Kelly took a bite of his Subway sandwich and felt a sudden, sharp pain in his gut. He immediately felt ill, set his sandwich down, and we headed back to the office. He jumped in his truck to go home, and I went back inside.

A few minutes later, I received a phone call that would change our lives forever. My cousin Traci told me that our brother had been in an accident, rolled his truck, and was gone. “Gone? This can't be true. Am I dreaming?” Sadly, it was no dream. It was a real-life nightmare. In less than a minute, this paralyzing news shattered every plan we had been working toward. He had passed away instantly from head trauma. I was frozen in disbelief, feeling everything and nothing all at once.

I set the phone down, shaking, and took a moment to catch my breath (or at least I think I did; it's all a blur, yet somehow still vivid in my mind 23 years later). I walked into my dad's office because I couldn't be the one to call Kelly and tell him to come back—he would hear it in my voice that something was wrong. I asked my dad to call and ask him to return to the office. Kelly hadn't gone far and returned quickly, without even asking why. As soon as he walked into my dad's office where we were gathered, without a word, he said, “Tell me what's wrong!” He knew. He knew the moment it happened. The gut punch he felt when he took that bite of his sandwich coincided with the time of the accident. Intuitively, our hearts know when we are closely connected to someone we love.

This. This was our new life. This was our new plan. I was 28 years old, with two daughters—one three years old and the other just nine months—a seven-year marriage, a plan devoted to our newly growing family, and two businesses. Now, a widow, a niece and a nephew falling under our care. I had a lot of responsibility on my plate already, and now it felt as though the world had stopped. My husband, my marriage, and my little family were forever changed. It has never been the same since that day.

Our lives are shaped by our ability to adapt and push forward when plans change. We have the power of choice, no matter how overwhelming the challenges placed upon us. Much has transpired over the years and has influenced my belief system in myself. Pivoting is one of my strengths- what a gift I have been given. 

What gift have you embraced following a life altering change or challenge? 

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