The fragile thread keeping me together…
Simple reminder: everything that goes, leaves space for what is next.
Why do things go? Why can something or someone so meaningful dissipate and leave only memories? Perhaps a reminder that nothing is forever, or maybe its the ending we didn't think we wanted. The opportunity that opens the door to the beginning we needed most. The granting of space. Space to create something new, space to give more of ourselves into the new and submerge into a deeper way of living a life more fully. Sometimes it is hard to let go, and we convince ourselves holding on is easy simply because it's what we know.
The act of letting go is not for the purpose of receiving something better. It IS the something better.
I'm heavily in a season of letting go. Letting go of relationships that don't serve me. Old patterns of holding on to someone because unconditional love is my driving force; even when it's not healthy and creates a constant emotional commotion inside of me. I know from experience that we can't bring new beauty into our life if we don't create space for the new. The only way to create space for the new is to empty and remove things that are holding up space today.
I am letting go and releasing the pressure of shoulding all over myself. Seeing that half the year has passed and I haven't brought to life many of the things I thought would be done by now. The pressure that if I am not the fastest, the best or pushing myself like I used to that I won't get anywhere. It's actually the opposite - intentional movement will always trump forcing uninspired action, I am releasing and letting go the need that there is a timeline that needs to be met. Releasing tension. Tension was the only thing holding me together.
Letting go of force UNINSPIRED action is allowing me to recognize that I've been in a state of fight, flight or freeze that has developed from life experiences. Little bruises when working hard to make an impact in the world around me (for decades). I feel tired and energized at the same time. Toggling between exhaustion and exhilaration in my seasons of creating. This constant stress of being pulled in so many directions as Mom, wife, daughter, entrepreneur and leader doesn't fill me up like it used to. I crave an inner peace and calmness that wasn't there before. The WANT to let go of those things that bog me down and clutter my peaceful mind. I am intentionally allowing space to release what is not mine. Dealing with adrenal fatigue since 2009 and burn out from a constant state of pushing has me ready to let go of that pattern. Recently, I've noticed little habits that I've always done, no longer align with my new beliefs. Letting go of those old habits to make room for more delivers me to personal alignment, and is where I am finding peace.
Often we have done all the self work around why we do what we do to heal the parts of us that felt like they needed to be seen and heard. YET, we are left with the ingrained habits & unconscious patterns that need tweaking and shifting.
The act of letting go is not for the purpose of receiving something better. It IS the something better.
In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you. Find grateful in having lived it. Find peace in making space for what is next.
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